Fertility Journey: Changing Plans

It's slightly ironic that my last post was a letter to my unborn daughter Chloe on the topic of challenges. I'm now facing one of my hardest challenges yet, making it through each moment.

September 26th was supposed to be the day that our little 3-some of a family made the transition to a 4-some. In an instant, that all changed. I went to the OB on Thursday and the results of the growth ultrasound that were told to me over the phone, were for a different patient. Chloe remains small. They have cancelled the c-section in favor of having me carry her as long as possible in hopes that she'll gain whatever weight she can before spontaneous labour occurs (which could be anytime - I'm going on 38 weeks).

It's bitter-sweet news. I know that it's best that she remains where she is and comes out as healthy as possible. At the same time, I'm also going through a very difficult time with the increase in pain. As sick as I have been this past summer with needing the 3x weekly IVs, I'm feeling much worse even now. I've been passing out an increasing number of times, unable to sleep, ... The pain is exhausting. The nerves in both of my legs are compressed, which makes me legs burn with pain down to my knees, and then my feet go numb. Not conducive to being able to walk to make sure that Jacob gets to the right school door in the morning.

I'm also having mixed feelings about the c-section that was supposed to have happened because it was an earlier opportunity to see exactly what's going on inside of me. Instead, assuming that I'm able to have a natural birth (which is a huge assumption), we'll have to wait until the 6 week post-delivery mark to get the endometrial biopsy done and then decide which treatment course to follow. The doctor will likely do a D&C (dilation and curettage) at that time to make sure all the cancer cells have been removed. Still, what's going on inside remains a giant fear.

In any case, I'm still hoping that labor occurs anytime in the near future, but at the same time, just hoping for a healthy little Chloe :)